Monday, January 30, 2017
Welcoming the Stranger
On Friday, the International Holocaust Day of remembrance, the entire world paused to remember those who were murdered during the Nazi regime in World War II in Germany and Eastern Europe.
At the Nuremberg trials that followed the end of World War II, many of the war criminals involved in the Holocaust were charged with Crimes against Humanity. The global community - including the United States of America - piled the blame on Germany.
They blamed Hitler, of course, and the Nazi party, but also the German people for not speaking out against a fascist government that put such horrendous plans into action.
They blamed German Christians for not standing up for a gospel that says all human life matters and forbids murder and genocide.
They blamed ordinary people for going along with the plan and not fighting back. And they vowed as a world community to never let this happen again.
But there was more culpability. It wasn’t just Germany’s fault. The whole world was to blame. Even our own country contributed to this catastrophic loss of life.
You see, as Germany began to tighten its restrictions of freedoms for its Jewish citizens, many tried to escape. As they lost basic rights, their houses and businesses, and the freedom to thrive and prosper, some Jewish families made the heart-wrenching decision to leave their homes and start over. Many fled Germany and sought asylum elsewhere. Some of them looked to the US for visas and the chance to start over in the so called land of opportunity.
But fearing an influx of foreigners during war time, and concerned that these German Jews might be Nazi spies, most people seeking entrance into the United States were refused entrance. Most notably, in June 1939, the German ocean liner St. Louis and its 937 passengers, almost all Jewish, were turned away from the port of Miami, forcing the ship to return to Europe. Heartbreakingly, more than a quarter of those people died in the Holocaust.[1]
Among those who sought refuge in America were Otto Frank and his family, including his wife Edith, and teenaged daughters Margot and Anne.[2] Mr. Frank desperately tried to get his family to America. When he was out of other options he even reached out to his friend, Nathan Straus Jr., the son of the Macy department store founder.
Straus, along with Edith’s brothers who had already relocated to the United States, wrote affidavits on the Frank’s behalf to the state department, imploring them to grant emergency visas to allow Frank and his family entrance into the United States. But as the Frank family filed mounds of needed paperwork, immigration rules were changing — and attitudes in the United States toward immigrants from Europe were becoming increasingly suspicious.
The American government was making it harder for foreigners to get into the country — and the Nazis were making it difficult to leave. By 1941, the United States closed its borders to people from Germany and surrounding nations, even those fleeing for their lives, leaving 300,000 people waiting for visas, including Otto, Edith, Margot and Anne.
Unable to leave, like so many of their friends and neighbors, the entire Frank family went into hiding. However, they would be discovered and end up in Nazi death camps. Edith, Margot and Anne did not survive. After he was liberated, Otto discovered a diary among a pile of papers collected from their hiding space. It had been written by his daughter Anne during their time in captivity. It was later published as The Diary of Anne Frank.
On Friday, while the world was remembering people like Anne Frank and mourning again the horrors of the Holocaust, the decision was made by the powers that be to issue an order that again closed our borders to refuges, people fleeing dictatorial governments and war torn countries for their very lives.
Just like during WWII when the ban on refugees was specifically targeted at Germans, Friday’s order specifically banned immigrants from several Muslim nations. People who had sold everything, gathered their family, and fled for safety stepped off the airplane on Friday into a country that had promised hope and a new start, to be told that they were no longer welcome, essentially because of their religion.
At the same time, those same powers began planning to build a wall along the southern border of our country, in order to keep people from illegally crossing into the United States from Mexico.
Between the wall and the immigration ban policies, the message this week coming from Washington to the rest of the world was clear: STRANGERS ARE NO LONGER WELCOME HERE.
This weekend social media has published miles of opinions about what all this means and whether it is good or bad or right or wrong. But as Christians we are not called to examine these issues politically, but through the lens of faith. And from the pit of public opinion on this shift in American policy rises one question loudly and clearly: What would Jesus have us do?
What would Jesus have us do? How would Jesus respond? And how must we as followers of Jesus Christ respond to the closing of our borders and the clear mandate to turn our backs on ones who so desperately need us?
Our scripture lesson today is about a similar situation. When we read the story of Ruth, we usually focus on Ruth herself. We talk about her uncommon loyalty and the fact that she left everything she knew and loved in order to accompany her mother-in-law, Naomi, back to Israel. We celebrate Ruth’s selflessness and sacrifice, and we praise her love for and dedication to Naomi.
But sometimes overlooked in this passage is the story of Boaz.
Boaz was an upstanding, law-abiding Israelite. He knew the rules of his faith and he followed them. When he met Ruth, he knew she was a stranger, yet he opened his heart and his home to her. Boaz made sure she had plenty of grain so that she could feed herself and her mother in law. He introduced her to the other women working his fields so she might find companionship and friendship. And then, even though it was not the custom of his people to marry a foreigner, Boaz married Ruth, legitimizing her and giving her a new start, a renewed hope, and a legacy.
Ruth was, technically, an abomination. She was a Moabite and Moab was an enemy nation to Israel. The two countries competed politically and militarily. Their religions were incompatible and the Moab god was called an abomination to the Jewish faith. The people were warned to not have any relationship with the Moabites.
Boaz knew this. He understood that keeping the blood line pure was important to his people and their faith. But Boaz also knew Jewish law required him to care for the strangers amongst them. We read such laws in, for example, Leviticus 19:33-34 which reads:
When immigrants live in your land with you, you must not cheat them. Any immigrant who lives with you must be treated as if they were one of your citizens. You must love them as yourself, because you were immigrants in the land of Egypt; I am the Lord your God. (CEB)
So Boaz followed his heart AND the spirit of the law. He went against popular sentiment that said nothing from Moab could be trusted, and not only did he provide Ruth with food, shelter, and kindness, but he married her, mixing bloodlines with the enemy, to give her a hope and a future.
And this decision made all the difference for Ruth and Naomi. But more than that, God also rewarded Boaz with a son—Obed. Obed would become the grandfather of King David and, of course, a Patriarch of Jesus of Nazareth. Because Boaz extended kindness to a stranger, even one who came from a distant land that was so different from his own, even one whose native religion was in contention with his own faith… because Boaz showed compassion and kindness and practiced justice… history was altered, and Jesus was the result.
As Christians, the way we respond to what is happening in our nation will tell the world a lot about who we are, about the faith we proclaim, about the Jesus we claim to follow, and about the legacy we intend to leave behind.
We have to ask ourselves that crucial question: How would Jesus respond? Thankfully, we don’t have to speculate on the answer to that question. The Gospel itself is one of welcome and equality. And scripture is full of mandates on how to treat the least of these.
In Matthew 25 Jesus is explaining that the rewards of our life’s endeavors will be based on how we care for others, how well we reach out to the needy, how well we share what we have. The king welcomes those who have fed, clothed, visited and welcomed him and he throws into the fire those who did not. In verse 44, the people say, But Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison and didn’t do anything to help you?’ Then he will answer, ‘I assure you that when you haven’t done it for one of the least of these, you haven’t done it for me.’ And they will go away into eternal punishment. But the righteous ones will go into eternal life.
In Luke 10:25-37, after Jesus has said that the most important thing after loving God is loving one’s neighbor and is asked how to define neighbor, Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan, and how it was the foreigner just passing through who showed compassion and mercy—this was how one loves one’s neighbor. Crossing cultural and religious boundaries and risking one’s very life to heal and help and offer hope.
I mean, that’s part of the spirit behind these new orders, isn’t it? The idea that we have a right to refuse a person in need and a right to protect ourselves. And we do have a right to personal safety.
But refusing someone one in need the help they require to survive simply because we want to protect ourselves, especially when the other is in desperate need and in eminent danger, is not what Christianity is about. It’s about helping the stranger, even if it carries some risk. That’s the very point of the Good Samaritan.[3]
In John 13:35 Jesus tells us that the only way the world will see who and whose we are is by how well we love. Love. Not how loudly we proclaim we are Christians. Not by how certain we are that our beliefs are right. Not by how ardently we condemn everything we believe to be a sin. But. By. How. We. love. Love is the only measure by which we will be judged, by the world, and by God.
Even Paul speaks to the way we are supposed to care for strangers in our midst when in his letter to Galatia, chapter 3 verse 28 he writes, There is neither Jew nor Greek; there is neither slave nor free; nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
No Moabite or Israelite.
No Mexican or American.
No illegal immigrant or legal resident.
No Muslim refugee or Christian citizen.
No impoverished or wealthy.
No president or constituent.
In the eyes of Christ we are all the same.
As people of faith, we are called to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God (Micah 6:8). We must work for justice and peace for all people and envision a world where institutions are transformed into true servants of the people, full of the compassion exemplified by Jesus Christ.
As United Methodists, we have a particular commitment to least, the last, and the lost. Our policy has always been one to welcome refugees and care for immigrants, regardless of their legal status or religious affiliation. It’s in our DNA as Methodists and a part of the Social Principles of the United Methodist Church book of discipline.
In New York Harbor at Ellis Island, a place that is famous for receiving immigrants, stands the statue of liberty. Her base bears the inscription:
"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
Today there are more displaced people in our world than at any other time in our world’s history. Families who have lost everything. Women, men, children, young and old. They are clinging to their religion for strength. They are clinging to their family because it’s all they have left. And they are clinging to the hope that those words on that inscription still mean something.
And right now, as I speak, because of fear, hate and political rhetoric, they are people with nowhere to go. No home. No country. No one to wrap them in love and welcome and say, here, let me show you how my faith compels me to act and what Christian really means.
During the second world war, over 10 million people died in Nazi death camps. Mostly Jews, but also homosexuals, people with disabilities, people with different political ideas, like communists, people with different religions, like Jehovah Witnesses, and Christians from the confessing church who stood against Nazism and fascist ideals.
Today, we stand at the top of a slippery slope that makes a repeat of these horrors of history seem not all that far-fetched after all.
Today, just days after the world remembers this horrible human atrocity and vows never to forget it, it’s our turn to decide where we stand. It’s time for us to raise our voices, engage our wallets, and stand in solidarity with those who are experiencing the oppression and injustice.
Like Boaz we must commit to welcoming the stranger, loving the foreigner, and caring for the needy, just as Christ commanded us to do, to speak out against injustice and model the love God has for in the way we treat even the ones we have been taught to mistrust, hate, and fear.
I know “what ifs” mean nothing in history. But, I wonder, what if? How it might have been differently if 70 years ago the United States would have chosen a different path, to open the doors as wide as possible and to welcome in the poor, the oppressed, the persecuted, the ones seeking asylum?
Perhaps the Frank family would have gotten their visas and rebuilt their lives in Boston. Perhaps Anne Frank would have fulfilled her dream of becoming a writer. Maybe she would be alive today, 87 years old, telling her great grandchildren what it was like when the Nazis rose to power and how so many died…and that it was almost her, but this country, the land of the free and the home of the brave courageously opened the borders and granted her family a new start.
But of course, that never happened. Instead, Anne Frank was just 15 years old when she died at Bergen-Belsen concentration camp in Germany.
But she did leave us a legacy.
Anne Frank is remembered as having written: "Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness."
Friends, we are living in dark, dark times. But the light of Christ living within you invites you to shine in the darkness, to be that candle and to both defy and define the darkness by resisting evil, speaking out against injustices, welcoming the stranger, and choosing to love even when it means sacrificing self.
Be that candle.
It’s the right thing to do. It’s the Methodist thing to do.
And, it’s what Jesus would do.
Amen
[1] Daniel A. Gross (2015) “The U.S. Government Turned Away Thousands of Jewish Refugees, Fearing That They Were Nazi Spies.” Smithsonian Magazine. Accessed 1/28/2017 at
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/us-government-turned-away-thousands-jewish-refugees-fearing-they-were-nazi-spies-180957324/
[2] Elahe Izadi (2015) “Anne Frank and her family were also denied entry as refugees to the U.S.” The Washington Post. Accessed 1/28/2017 at https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2015/11/24/anne-frank-and-her-family-were-also-denied-entry-as-refugees-to-the-u-s/?utm_term=.ac3f908844ed/
[3] James Martin, S.J. (2017) “I was a stranger and you did not welcome me.” American Magazine. Accesses 1/28/2017 at http://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2017/01/28/i-was-stranger-and-you-did-not-welcome-me.
Monday, July 25, 2016
Late night political ponderings....
I could not sleep last night. It is not uncommon. I
spend half my nights lying awake thinking, praying, worrying, hoping, and
planning. I like to think that God wakes me up in the middle of the night when
there are no distractions or other things to busy myself with so that I can
really listen to the whispering of the Spirit.
But last night all I could think about was Donald
Trump.
I have done a pretty decent job of staying above the
violent fray of political discord this season. Opinions are too polarized and
colored by fear and anger for me to enjoy debate like I used to. But that doesn’t mean I have ignored the
political posts of my friends, or the candidate debates, or the campaign media
spots. And last night I realized that
Donald Trump very well might become the next president of the United States of
America.
This whole situation is hard for me to even fathom.
I struggle to comprehend how good, generous, kind, educated, Christ-loving
people can look at me and argue with genuine conviction that Mr. Trump is
intellectually, politically, or personally fit to be the president. I struggle to understand how the evangelical
church can listen to a man whose very campaign platform is hate and say that he
is the candidate Christ would have us elect.
-A man who has been married three times but argues
gay marriage destroys the sanctity of marriage.
-A man who is married to an immigrant but argues
immigration is destroying America’s greatness and that we must build a wall to
keep people out.
-A man who openly and with great joy, on worldwide
television, ridiculed a reporter who has a physical disability.
-A man who made his millions at the expense of the
poor but argues he is the best hope for the working class.
-A man who is old enough to remember the horrors of
World War II but is insistent on making people register with the government based
on religion.
-A man who says he has no need for forgiveness
because he has never been wrong.
-He lies, without apology, with gusto.
-He belittles women and people of color.
-He encourages violence as a means of resolving difference.
-He is hungry to engage the war machine.
-He has said many times that he has no interest in
diplomacy.
In fact, I have yet to see even one tiny example of
decency, compassion, virtuosity, integrity, honesty, or servitude in Donald
Trump or his campaign promises. Yet the Republican Party hails him as their
best choice for president? It is as if
there is a shroud around Mr. Trump that prevents people from recognizing the
truth and I am overwhelmingly confused, and saddened, by it.
What bothers me the most is not that this man
is running for president. In truth,
actually the very fact that Mr. Trump can be and is a candidate for President
is one of the things I love best about our country—that anyone can be anything
if the right opportunities present themselves (in his case excessive wealth and
unearned privilege). Diversity is in my estimation the most beautiful trait of
American culture, and I love this country enough to say that part of being free
is allowing all to speak, even those who would oppose the very things to which
I have dedicated my life. I do not get
his appeal, but I do concede that others do not share my opinions or my
perspectives.
So no, it is not Donald Trump’s candidacy that
disturbs me, nor is it the fact that the Republicans have embraced him. (Honestly, it is just one more reminder of
why I am not associated with the Republican Party.) What bothers me is that Mr.
Trump is claiming to be a devout, God-loving Christian, and even more incredulous,
that the right-aligned church is buying it!
That’s what kept me awake last night. That’s what stirs angst and discord in my
heart.
See, Christian means by
simple linguistic definition “Christ-like.” How on earth can someone possibly
see Donald Trump as “like Christ?” Now
please understand, I’m not suggesting that I or anyone else gets to determine
whether someone’s faith is real. That’s
not my job. But I/we do get to determine
whether the rhetoric being fed to us by those in power is genuine, real,
authentic. And we do have a
responsibility to test whether or not what is being attributed to God really is
from God (1 John 4:1, for example).
I have three Master’s
degrees—13 years of post-high school education.
While it doesn’t make me better (or even smarter) that anyone else, my
education has taught me how to test what I am hearing to determine whether it
is factual and truthful. As far as facts
go, Mr. Trump misquotes other people, has a very warped understanding of
history—both ancient and recent—and he says things that are intended to incite
panic and fear, even though they are not factual. Several independent and
nonpartisan studies have proven that you cannot trust what Donald Trump says
(though when stacked up next to other political candidates, Mr. Trump is not
the only one to lie, twist the truth, or hide things from the public.)
As for truth, at least according
to the scripture by which I measure my life, everything that claims to be from
God must be held up against the great consistent theme of scripture—God is
love. If it is not love, it is not from
God. If it is not from God, it cannot be “like Christ.”
I am not writing this to
attack my friends who have committed to voting for Trump or to call you names
or say that you are wrong.
But I do ask
my Christ-follower friends to consider this:
based on only the things I’ve heard and not the many posts of my
fellow liberals, Trump theology includes belittling, discriminating, and degrading other human beings (based on
gender, race, religion, ability, and wealth), joy in the suffering of others
(including a promise to bring back torture techniques like waterboarding), a
love of money and an insistence that greed is a human characteristic that should
be celebrated, deception and flat out lying, and arrogance and a lack of humility.
Does this sound like “Christ-like”
theology to you? Would Jesus stamp his
approval on any of those things? Does this align with scripture that teaches us
to care for the poor, welcome the stranger, feed the hungry, embrace the
outcast, and care for women and children? Does Mr. Trump’s theology hold up
against Jesus who said to lay our very lives down for others, give everything we
have to the poor, love God above all things and love our neighbor as ourselves?
If you cannot answer yes to
those questions, then please stop telling me that Donald Trump is the “Christian”
candidate. Vote for him if you
want. That’s a celebrated right of a
free America. But please, DO NOT tie the
faith that I cherish and to which I have dedicated my life to a rhetoric that
is NOT remotely like the author of that faith, Jesus Christ.
Because it is only
accomplishing one thing—proving to those who want nothing to do with
Christianity because they see it as a religion of division and hate that they
are absolutely right on, and it makes my job—a Christ follower, evangelist,
preacher-teacher who believes God is limitless love—impossible.
And here's the thing....if Donald Trump
really WAS the quintessential Christian, then I would NOT be a Christian,
either.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
I am not lazy
"I'll tell you how to not be fat anymore. Stop shoving food in your face. Want to lose weight? Eat less. Don't be lazy." A well-meaning woman at one of my churches once said this to me. You might imagine I didn't receive that well. Though my role as pastor had conditioned me to simply nod and smile politely, inside I was seething. I am NOT lazy. Obviously, I am not a slender person. My BMI and height to weight ratios put me squarely in the "obese" category. But I am not lazy.
There is a widely held misconception that FAT equals LAZY. I've experienced the consequences of that perception (rude comments that have hurt my feelings, not being hired for a job where I was told I was the most qualified applicant, but was too "heavy," a doctor who told me they couldn't treat my ailment because it was most likely weight-related - no matter what the ailment was!). Most of my life I have been fat (heavy, chubby, obese, whatever you want to call it), yet I made a decision early on to embrace life as a person, not as a fat person. This decision has allowed me to do everything I've wanted to do (except bungee jump... I'm not quite there yet!) I decided to simply be a girl who is fat, not a fat-girl.
The truth is, there is SO MUCH more to obesity than someone who hasn't struggled with their weight often understands. It is not always about what you "shove in your face." It isn't always about what you know or how much you work out. My life is a testament to that: I carefully count my calories, make healthy food choices, control my portions and refuse to eat anything that someone down the line has said "makes you fat." I drink water by the gallons. I engage in cardio exercise for at least an hour at least six times a week. When my schedule lets me, I turn that 60 minutes into 90 and I add a half hour in the evening too. I do strength training with a personal trainer, and I have for years. I am strong and flexible. I have tried every imaginable "diet" for years at a time--low carb/high fat, weight-watchers, sugar busters, low fat/high protein, super-calorie restrictive, higher calorie/higher exercise.... not for a few days until I got frustrated but long enough to honestly say my body does not react to it. I have read absolutely everything I can get my hands on about metabolism, weight loss, weight gain, exercise, and health. You might say I am OBSESSED with weight loss. But, weight loss eludes me.
I work hard. I've even consulted experts. The dietitian's response? "Huh. I don't know what to tell you. You know more about food than I do and you're doing everything right. I really can't help you." My doctor's response? "Weight loss isn't an exact science. Your cholesterol is low. Your blood pressure is normal. You are healthy. Keep doing what you're doing and don't sweat it. People die from obesity-related diseases. No one dies from just being fat." My husband's response? "You're beautiful. I don't care what your size is." My dad's response? "I guess I never really thought of you as being fat...." And still I keep up with the struggle to lose weight, to find the magic formula between calories in and calories out, working my butt off (figuratively, obviously) every single day in an attempt to reach my goal weight. I have some contributing health issues too. I've been diagnosed with Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) which brings with it hormonal imbalances. I have hypothyroidism. I have a propensity for developing blood clots due to a genetic disease that runs in my family.
All this means that, truthfully, I will probably never reach my goal weight (which is not the 165 that generic charts tell the world I SHOULD weigh, but a much heavier 220 lbs that is the actual "perfect ratio" that my particular makeup of skeletal weight and lean mass would be at its healthiest, according to legitimate metabolic testing that led the doctor to tell me I actually have a really HIGH metabolism--I just burn sugar instead of fat! ) Regardless of whether the numerical value of my gravitational pull every reaches 220 pounds or below, it has no bearing on who I am as a human being. I'm a good person. I go the extra mile. I'm intelligent, well educated, generally kind and helpful and generous, and I AM NOT LAZY.
I read an article on NPR about fat-shaming that really riled me up because I have spent the last 30 years or so (I'm not sure I was ever really fat before I hit 2nd grade) experiencing firsthand the negativity of fat-shaming. I've heard people I know, love, and respect tell me that I'm not worth as much as other people because I'm fat, that I'm a sloth who doesn't take care of herself, that if I'd just try this, that, or the other thing I would lose weight easily, that I shouldn't sit on a particular chair because it's "fragile," and.... the list could go on.
I share my story for two reasons. 1) I have a lot of fat friends. Some of you hate yourself because you look in the mirror and see a body that the world says is too big. I want to tell you to STOP. Your worth, your beauty, and the wealth of amazingness you have to offer this world have absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you're fat. You have to learn to ignore the chatter and love yourself, because honestly, you're the only one who has the power to change how you feel about yourself. Don't be one of these people whose lives are cut short because of the negative effects of being shamed because of your weight.
And, 2) if you're someone who looks at someone like me and wonders, "Why don't they just lose weight?"... get over yourself. You have no idea what it is like to walk in my shoes. You have no idea how hard I work every day to be healthy and fit. Fat does NOT equal lazy. But fat-shaming DOES equal inhumane. And finally, you can be fat, and healthy, or skinny and healthy. You can be fat and unhealthy, or skinny and unhealthy. I challenge you, whatever your weight, to begin to make healthy life-style choices, because the trade offs (energy, self-esteem, increased endorphins, longevity) are well worth the time and energy you have to expel in the process.
Anyway, this isn't a rant and it's not a plea to have you pat me on the back, or-worse-give me advice. It's simply me saying, there's more to me than being fat. And there's more to you, too.
There is a widely held misconception that FAT equals LAZY. I've experienced the consequences of that perception (rude comments that have hurt my feelings, not being hired for a job where I was told I was the most qualified applicant, but was too "heavy," a doctor who told me they couldn't treat my ailment because it was most likely weight-related - no matter what the ailment was!). Most of my life I have been fat (heavy, chubby, obese, whatever you want to call it), yet I made a decision early on to embrace life as a person, not as a fat person. This decision has allowed me to do everything I've wanted to do (except bungee jump... I'm not quite there yet!) I decided to simply be a girl who is fat, not a fat-girl.
The truth is, there is SO MUCH more to obesity than someone who hasn't struggled with their weight often understands. It is not always about what you "shove in your face." It isn't always about what you know or how much you work out. My life is a testament to that: I carefully count my calories, make healthy food choices, control my portions and refuse to eat anything that someone down the line has said "makes you fat." I drink water by the gallons. I engage in cardio exercise for at least an hour at least six times a week. When my schedule lets me, I turn that 60 minutes into 90 and I add a half hour in the evening too. I do strength training with a personal trainer, and I have for years. I am strong and flexible. I have tried every imaginable "diet" for years at a time--low carb/high fat, weight-watchers, sugar busters, low fat/high protein, super-calorie restrictive, higher calorie/higher exercise.... not for a few days until I got frustrated but long enough to honestly say my body does not react to it. I have read absolutely everything I can get my hands on about metabolism, weight loss, weight gain, exercise, and health. You might say I am OBSESSED with weight loss. But, weight loss eludes me.
I work hard. I've even consulted experts. The dietitian's response? "Huh. I don't know what to tell you. You know more about food than I do and you're doing everything right. I really can't help you." My doctor's response? "Weight loss isn't an exact science. Your cholesterol is low. Your blood pressure is normal. You are healthy. Keep doing what you're doing and don't sweat it. People die from obesity-related diseases. No one dies from just being fat." My husband's response? "You're beautiful. I don't care what your size is." My dad's response? "I guess I never really thought of you as being fat...." And still I keep up with the struggle to lose weight, to find the magic formula between calories in and calories out, working my butt off (figuratively, obviously) every single day in an attempt to reach my goal weight. I have some contributing health issues too. I've been diagnosed with Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) which brings with it hormonal imbalances. I have hypothyroidism. I have a propensity for developing blood clots due to a genetic disease that runs in my family.
All this means that, truthfully, I will probably never reach my goal weight (which is not the 165 that generic charts tell the world I SHOULD weigh, but a much heavier 220 lbs that is the actual "perfect ratio" that my particular makeup of skeletal weight and lean mass would be at its healthiest, according to legitimate metabolic testing that led the doctor to tell me I actually have a really HIGH metabolism--I just burn sugar instead of fat! ) Regardless of whether the numerical value of my gravitational pull every reaches 220 pounds or below, it has no bearing on who I am as a human being. I'm a good person. I go the extra mile. I'm intelligent, well educated, generally kind and helpful and generous, and I AM NOT LAZY.
I read an article on NPR about fat-shaming that really riled me up because I have spent the last 30 years or so (I'm not sure I was ever really fat before I hit 2nd grade) experiencing firsthand the negativity of fat-shaming. I've heard people I know, love, and respect tell me that I'm not worth as much as other people because I'm fat, that I'm a sloth who doesn't take care of herself, that if I'd just try this, that, or the other thing I would lose weight easily, that I shouldn't sit on a particular chair because it's "fragile," and.... the list could go on.
I share my story for two reasons. 1) I have a lot of fat friends. Some of you hate yourself because you look in the mirror and see a body that the world says is too big. I want to tell you to STOP. Your worth, your beauty, and the wealth of amazingness you have to offer this world have absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you're fat. You have to learn to ignore the chatter and love yourself, because honestly, you're the only one who has the power to change how you feel about yourself. Don't be one of these people whose lives are cut short because of the negative effects of being shamed because of your weight.
And, 2) if you're someone who looks at someone like me and wonders, "Why don't they just lose weight?"... get over yourself. You have no idea what it is like to walk in my shoes. You have no idea how hard I work every day to be healthy and fit. Fat does NOT equal lazy. But fat-shaming DOES equal inhumane. And finally, you can be fat, and healthy, or skinny and healthy. You can be fat and unhealthy, or skinny and unhealthy. I challenge you, whatever your weight, to begin to make healthy life-style choices, because the trade offs (energy, self-esteem, increased endorphins, longevity) are well worth the time and energy you have to expel in the process.
Anyway, this isn't a rant and it's not a plea to have you pat me on the back, or-worse-give me advice. It's simply me saying, there's more to me than being fat. And there's more to you, too.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Beginnings.
Welcome to my blog!
This is my first actual blog, per se. But, I kept an online journal for years. It was deeply satisfying to see my inner monologue spewed across the screen, and even more satisfying to know it had viewership. There is something comforting about knowing that you are leaving something for posterity (even if the inherent value of what is being left behind is negligible).
But somehow in the busyness of an enormous life, I forgot to write, and, more tragically, I forgot how much I loved to write. So, after a 7 year hiatus, tonight I pick up the digital pen and begin again.
I imagine the posts to come will be part intended as soliloquy, and part intended for dialogue, a play by play of life in progress and a commentary on the process of becoming whoever it is I'm (still) becoming.
The last 7 years have been, to say the least, overwhelming. I'll write about some of those experiences in days to come, but for now, I am ready to take some really big risks for the sake of becoming the change I hope to see in the world. (thanks, Gandhi!) I've practiced with some small ones, but I am deeply satisfied and I crave more. Somehow, I'm not sitting so comfortably in the skin I'm in.
So, here's to next steps, possibilities, and words.
This is my first actual blog, per se. But, I kept an online journal for years. It was deeply satisfying to see my inner monologue spewed across the screen, and even more satisfying to know it had viewership. There is something comforting about knowing that you are leaving something for posterity (even if the inherent value of what is being left behind is negligible).
But somehow in the busyness of an enormous life, I forgot to write, and, more tragically, I forgot how much I loved to write. So, after a 7 year hiatus, tonight I pick up the digital pen and begin again.
I imagine the posts to come will be part intended as soliloquy, and part intended for dialogue, a play by play of life in progress and a commentary on the process of becoming whoever it is I'm (still) becoming.
The last 7 years have been, to say the least, overwhelming. I'll write about some of those experiences in days to come, but for now, I am ready to take some really big risks for the sake of becoming the change I hope to see in the world. (thanks, Gandhi!) I've practiced with some small ones, but I am deeply satisfied and I crave more. Somehow, I'm not sitting so comfortably in the skin I'm in.
So, here's to next steps, possibilities, and words.
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